We Say, “Sisters are Doin’ it For Themselves”

Provo Missionary Training Center entrance
Provo Missionary Training Center entrance (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Aretha Franklin & Annie Lenox. Doin’ it for themselves.

So one of my friends went to a fireside on a few Sundays ago with the Director of Operations at the MTC (LDS Missionary Training Center). He said that sister missionaries will now be 50% of the population, so the whole dynamics of how missions run will change. There will be sisters-only districts, and they will have to restructure leadership. And here is the proof of that. 

This is a rather interesting and perhaps the first unexpected step of a new thought order within Mormondom. Women have been a larger proportion of the active LDS population for many years. Just like they are in other parts of society (larger college attendance numbers, every grad school but business) women have pushed up their participation. Now its the mission field for LDS people. Interestingly, sisters in leadership positions reporting directly to the head of the organization with an active wife of the head is not a new phenomenon. In the early days of the LDS church, when Joseph Smith was prophet, he organized the Relief Society (RS) on March 17, 1842. The purpose was to be an organization for the female members of the new church:

—that the Society of Sisters might provoke the brethren to good works in looking to the wants of the poor—searching after objects of charity, and in administering to their wants—to assist; by correcting the morals and strengthening the virtues of the female community, and save the Elders the trouble of rebuking; that they may give their time to other duties, &[et]c., in their public teaching…

The organization of the Church [is] not complete until the sisters [are] organized.

The interesting thing about this organization was that it was completely self-contained. In the current LDS structure, RS presidents report into a priesthood authority at every level. The ward level into the bishop, stake level into the stake president, so on and so forth. However, in the early church the RS structure did not report into the priesthood until the prophet. It was its own organization with reporting directly into the woman above until you hit the prophet, although now that I think about it, it wasnt that big of an organization or that widespread so it makes sense that Emma Smith, the new president of the organization, would have reported directly to the current prophet, her husband, as there was not anyone below her (2 counselors and a secretary were all that was chosen). That changed after Joseph Smith’s death. One version of the story is that Emma Smith, Joseph’s first wife (yes he was a polygamist), and Brigham Young did not get along. This was further fractured when she decided not to go with the rest of the Saints in leaving Nauvoo for the West. Obviously the LDS church was in flux after their exodus from Illinois in 1844, but I have never heard an official reason for the lack of the relief society for the 20 years. And the interruption is rarely brought to public attention unless you do some history reading, so remains invisible unless you look at the dates of the service of the presidents.

Eliza R. Snow, the secretary of the original RS, did travel west, and in 1854, about 10 years after arriving in Utah, helped establish the Indian Relief Society, which was designed to provide services to the Native American population living in Utah. It was not until 1866 that Brigham Young called for formal reorganization of the Relief Society as part of the ward structure again, Eliza R. Snow was called as General President of the RS, but this time the RS reported into the local priesthood at each level. This may be the first formal structuring of the organization as it was large enough to need it as it was sustained throughout the rest of the history of the LDS church until present-day, where our latest General RS President and counselors were called a year ago, April 2012.

I dont know where we are headed as a church in regards to the norms surrounding females. There was the recent Wear Pants to Church Day movement that brought out the ugly on both sides (there were death threats against the female founders by males and women who verbally attacked the orchestrators for their lack of understanding, etc) that in my opinion mostly illustrates that women in the LDS church are feeling the burden of inequality in roles and organizational structure. Many feel the lowering of the missionary age in the first place (from 21-19 for females, 19-18 for males) was designed to help with that inequality, but Ive also heard its to encourage more marriages as we dont have this “lost generation” of eligible women when males return from missions and women start to go on them. There’s also a group of women who are pushing to ordain women to the priesthood, as they see that as the major perpetuator of inequality in the LDS church. I have not paid much attention to it, but I know the power issues have affected my own life when how I wished to run my calling in the LDS church was mediated by a distant priesthood authority, who often shut down my ideas or made me feel I needed permission for something (nothing heretical people, just my inspirational awesome ideas to improve what I was responsible for). Maybe they did have final authority? No idea. Of course, today on LDS General Conference Saturday we can see the lastest manifestation of the debate. For the first time, women may give the prayers in conference sessions. So we will see about that.

So, who knows? Im not even sure what changes I would want to see, but I know that as women we have something to offer and Im not sure that we are doing it yet. I have seen many examples of excellent women, excelling in school, in motherhood, in their lives, but Im not sure organizationally we get it yet. Anyway, just the lastest from the ranks.

I’ve Been Trying to Get Down to the Heart of the Matter

English: President Barack Obama tapes an inter...
English: President Barack Obama tapes an interview for the Daily Show with Jon Stewart at the Harman Center for the Arts in Washington, D.C., October 27, 2010. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A cover by India.Arie. So I was still mad today, until I spent some time at church and with some of my really good female friends, and then – the final kicker – went and stared at the temple for a while. It calmed down some of my anxiety and extreme anger to the point where I could see that I was stronger than I had been. Which makes all the nonsense worth it. Let me tell you another way.

Sometimes I imagine my future appearance on The Daily Show about my book (assuming its still running when I end up mattering). I have my mug that I will cherish forever in front of me on the desk and Jon Stewart props up my book and says, “So I read this book and I have to admit my first thought when they handed me this book was, really? there are some? enough to write a whole book about?”

The audience will laugh, and I’ll smile while taking a sip from my mug. Then he’ll say “But seriously, why are you a part of this church? You’re smart – you have to have heard about that ban against black men holding the priesthood? And remember when you guys were against gays? Preventing Boy Scouts from getting their Eagle Scout? Or when women received death threats for wearing pants to church?”

I’ll lean forward and this is what I’ll say, “So you want a logical answer for why I participate and believe in a religion that seems to be constantly be preventing some group or another from feeling accepted and equal and whose membership sometimes reacts badly to efforts to express and change the circumstances which cause those feelings?”

Jon nods or says something snarky. It is The Daily Show after all. “Well, Jon, there isnt one.” And Ill sit back. Eventually he’ll follow up the question and Ill answer for real. “Jon, faith isnt logical. It cannot be arrived at through thought alone or reasoned with. Most of the things we have faith in we have no control over. Sometimes past experience supports our faith – the sun came up yesterday, gravity existed last night – so all these things will most likely happen again tomorrow. However, we dont know that, we just know that they have, so our best bet is to assume it will again. But sometimes we dont have reason to fall back on, we have to take a leap to believe the voice or hope inside of us could be true and right and we jump forward into nothing. That is why I participate and believe. Because one time I jumped, and something/someone caught me.”

The interview will go on and on – we will talk about how I cant stand soda so I never think about the caffeine rule (even though Im addicted to Vitamin Water Zero’s energy burst, which is tons of caffeine). And whatever else is in vogue about Mormons in that day. But I will have told the truth. When I was small and everything else that supported me failed, and there was no earthly way to go on in such a world, I took a leap of faith that a God loved me, and He knew me and He was in charge and would make things alright if I just kept moving forward and listened to him.

Things didnt get “better” for a long long time, not until recently, like the last 5 years, would I say I finally was becoming whole. I spent a long time trudging forward with no idea of what happiness felt like. I remember a week in college that I felt light and looked up, and thought, “Is this what everyone else feels like all the time? This is sooo much better!” It wasnt permanent, but it gave me hope. God has continued to hold my hand and lead me forward through the darkness until I arrived at a point, where I feel like the world is mine. Ive never been happier and more excited for the future, despite being scared out of my mind, because everything that comes next is nothing like what came before. Its another leap of faith, but this time I know God will catch me. Just like He did tonight – he eased my heart and reminded me of how far we had come, and how great Now is given all the crap that came before, so think how much better Then will be if I can survive this.

So I stay. Because the organization lead me to God, and the God that I have come to know I will never leave. No characteristic about me, black, female or smart, will change the relationship I have forged. The religion and I will work it out, but the God that I love will never abandon me, despite how it feels to bear the hardships I may be called to experience, like dating, or dumb friends, or Utah. Its been ok thus far, and its only getting better.

Oh, My God Becky Look at Her Butt it is Like Soooo Big

Sir Mix-A-Lot.

Cover of "The Legend of Bagger Vance"
Cover of The Legend of Bagger Vance

I used to love this blog in college, but heres the post I want to talk about today. Its an oldie but a goodie. Maybe the most difficult thing for Mormons, and Im sure other people too, is to figure out how to talk to black people. I mentioned in an earlier post, when I first got to Utah, people liked to tell me stories about random Black people they knew. Babies and children of all sorts stare at me when I go to Costco – Ive seen them crane their heads around their parents to get a better look. Them I dont mind, its not their fault they have never seen someone of a darker hue before. But lets just say, I no longer go to Walmart in some parts of the world, because its just much too much uncomfortable.

I am often the only Black person at the events I attend, and Ive experienced the annoyingly eye-rolling to the jaw-droppingly racist, so let me give you the primer on what I do and do not like, and you can see if it generalizes to anyone else. 1) I hate being ignored. In one class I was in a girl from Arizona said she just didnt address directly differences of her friends, because she was scared of offending them. My response to her was, if we are actually friends, then let me teach you how to treat me. Its no different than anything else you have to learn about me – where I like to eat, what movies I will go see, and oh yeah how I talk and feel about this huge piece of what the world defines me as. I dont want people to be color-blind, because then it feels like you are pretending Im just like you, and Im not. I would like to be able to talk about those things that are different from you, whether its how much lotion I put on (a ton) or how often I wash my hair (not a ton), without feeling awkward about it. So maybe you dont know what to say: well I promise to be forgiving, if you promise to make an effort.

Numero dos: Wait until I say something racist first, and then laugh, because I eventually will, and it will be funny. Like when my friend makes a comment about their being only one white free safety left (whatever that is), it works, but if I say it then we’d all be awkward. Its probably true, but its mean. Its bad if you say something racist first, then I have to decide if Im going to be the bigger person, and I honestly will probably not talk to you again. But when I say it first, like when I told my best friend that I was his magical negro (see Will Smith in Bagger Vance and Morgan Freeman in everything), well then its funny, because its true. Then you can laugh at me while I eat fried chicken, but not before.

Three: I have no idea. Lets pretend this is like the Dave Chappell Show and you can ask a black girl. This could be fun. It will be an ongoing thing. Put your questions in the comments section and Ill get back to you.